When someone you love dies you don't get over the grief by forgetting, you get over it by remembering.

Author Unknown

I won't forget this butterfly, landing next to me on
the flowers outside the hall when I felt very low at Cameby QLD.

I've lost my mother, my father and my sister.  I have said the big good bye to the people who reared me, Jack and Edith.  I have lost friends too many friends prematurely.    I lost someone so close to me only three years ago,  RIP Texsy.

I haven't lost children to death, but I have lost children.  This feels like a death would without a funeral.  It is in some ways a lot more painful and difficult because there is no ending to this type of grief which I feel inside and its there all of the time, it never ever leaves. 

Even in life there is an escape - this is death.   When will there be an end to the grief I live with daily?  When will this die?  My broken heart changes the chemistry of my body, I know this.  I feel like I am being held hostage by the stupidity of my own children. 

I am a hostage waiting for the bullet to be fired.  The one that comes from living sad for too long.

My older children have based an attack on lies and stories promulgated by Paul Rogers who was always a known trouble maker. This is a travesty that cannot be passed over lightly.  I can only magine the karma this will illicit to this creep who have actively perpetrated this from start to finish.

Images @ Eminpee Fotography