“You must give everything to make your life as beautiful as the dreams that dance in your imagination.”

~ Roman Payne ~

The Common Bluebottle (Graphium sarpedon)
or Blue Triangle in Australia

Every day it is on my agenda to make mine and Bricee's life beautiful and this plays out in a number of interesting ways. 

Together we have made a beautiful home for us.  No one can hurt me here.  No one can take this away from me now.  We are safe.  It is difficult to see beauty when you are scared.  I was always full of fear and anxiety because of abject insecurities brought on by past experiences and seeing ghosts.  All of this while watching others take their security for granted.  This always made feeling safe a challenge and imperative to chase.

I pinch myself daily to make sure I am not dreaming.  It is so nice to dance out your dreams into reality.  If only I was able to dance with my son one more time.  If I don't ever get to do this at least I have my memories to remind me of the wondrous past when my children still loved me for me.   Before the world stole them prematurely from me.

Images @ Eminpee Fotography

A career is fine, but you cannot curl up with it on a cold night.

Marilyn Monroe

  

My son has the exact opposite out look to life as this.  He would always say to me that my talents were not very good because they will not pay the bills.  This used to make me a little sad.  I don't get sad now because I see these same talents allow me not to have bills in the first place so this statement really means nothing.   I am happiest when I am creating things no matter what it is.

Images @ Melopopzdropz Flickr

God makes no mistakes and God makes No Junk!

When your feeling a little down, try to remember that on this planet everything is here for a reason.  There has not been one thing on this planet that is here for no reason.  Everything from the tiniest to the most giant has a purpose...

The Full Moon resting gently on my back gate post at Urunga 2012

 This is what I try to remember when I become overwhelmed by the sheer immenseness  and imminence of God and creation of the universe.  I am here for a reason.  What ever I am feeling is for a reason. Nothing is with out purpose on this earth.  We cannot see the purpose as it is unfolding and we usually don't get to see it till way way after an event has occurred.  We get to see later how God had his hand on the situation all the way.

I was almost 30 years old when I had my first child.  A Son, Jesse we named him.  Jesse David William Baldwin.  Me being who I am, I was someone who was always going to be challenged rearing children no matter which way things went or with who ever I was partnered too.  I sometimes wish that I didn't have to suffer the relationship stuff that I had to while serving under the commission of God and Motherhood. 

I had to remember continually that God makes no mistakes and this was meant to be this way.

I know  that I was a good mum and I know that I was in the care of God while doing this because so many times when I look back now and see how wonderful and perfect that it panned out the way it did.

All this has done has prepared me for the greatest fight of my entire life.  I am at this point still waiting for it.  I have been through the fiery furnace and I am waiting because you don't receive training at this level and not get to put it into action.

I love my children.  I loved my son so  much.  I am still mortified that he has done what he has done to me and he really thinks that I, as his MOTHER and a human being deserve this kind of treatment!  I am so so saddened that no one cares about me enough to help me with this.

• Paul Rogers is a liar.  
• Paul Rogers made a complete idiot of himself.  
• Paul Rogers went to John and asked John about me. ( You don't ask ex's anything)
• Paul Rogers never ... Repeat NEVER.. asked me about me at all. 
• Paul Rogers is with out guts and fortitude.
• Paul Rogers is responsible for the complete relationship breakdown between my son and myself.
• Paul Rogers stuck his nose in to where it wasn't required.
• Paul Rogers caused a lot of problems.
• Paul Rogers swore he would pay me back for telling his mother he downloaded Porn onto my computer, he hated me for that.  (I didn't want  porn on my computer).
• For this,  he will be served a plate full of KARMA.

See to it that it is a large plate with big high sides so that nothing falls off this plate.    As God is my witness,  I have told the truth and I have never done the things I was accused of.  I am sad that not one person stood up for me, not even my daughters. Not my friends or people who I knew.  Remind me to not step in to help others in future.  I have lost count how many people have told me they could  have said something but ...." they didn't want to upset the apple cart".  Screw the apple cart.  Since when has an apple cart been more important than a human being!

I stepped in to help my sister Kay, I thought I could help her.  I did help her but that is the other half of this story.  I am hated for being a little clever and that is about the long and the short of it.  Now their are peoples prides involved.  Their own pride is what is stopping them saying sorry!

I try really hard not to let this kill me,  the mere thought of suicide must never creep into my head / many have taken their own lives because of sadness that isn't any where near as horrific as this story is.  I,  at times hate this world.  I don't hate the planet.  I love the planet.  I hate the consciousnesses that walk around seemingly unabated by stuff and seemingly getting away with it all until Karma steps in.  Thank you Karma you are my friend.

Karma, Your the invisible measuring stick that the universe uses to sort out stuff.  It is good that I get this time alone with Brice to cement our relationship.  Our relationship has developed into the most special of groupings of people.  He and I are very very different.  I am so happy to be able to tell another human being about all the things I have learned and to have someone love me unconditionally in return.  It is a gift from God himself I'm sure.  Something to help me see that I am special even when I might feel for a second or forget for a minute that I am.  I am special,  I was born for such a time as this.

Image By Mezza - Full Moon in Urunga.  March 2012

A Virgo Full Moon is upon us again...

It is that time again... it is the Full Moon...

a VIRGO FULL MOON..  it goes full about 10.30 am today.

Full Moon  on the rise over Urunga last night 7th march

When the Moon is in Virgo, it's typical to pay a bigger attention to details. Critiquing, analysis, diligence, rigour, practicality are characteristic. No matter if we like it or not, all these qualities influence our attitude towards life and our organism.

Virgo favours works as a whole, and especially that kind of work, requiring skills, practical knowledge, precision and effort.

The days, when the Moon is in Virgo, favour the activity of the critics, proofreaders, typographers, mathematicians, people, engaged in jewellry business.
In the "Moon in Virgo" days better avoid to show the result of your work to your boss. He would make a long and careful research of your work, looking for mistakes, even if they don't exist.

It's good through this period to clean the house. Or make a cleaning diet.
In the communication with your family it's desirable to avoid criticism and particularity. This is the time, when you can indulge in your hobby, especially, if it's connected with needlework or collecting.

When the Moon enters Virgo, in our body begin cleaning processes and internal regulation. It's good to support these processes with diet and recovery procedures.
In this period it's advisable to consume fresh food. Consumption of unusual products can adversely affect the intestines.
http://lunaf.com/english/astrology/moon-in-zodiacal-sign/virgo/

My Take on all of this is:
So the way I see all of that is, don't submit assessments, clean your house and your body. Eat great fresh food with lots of foods high in sunshine and energy.  Get out the mending you have been putting off and stitch away as you will pay more attention to detail while the moon is in Virgo.

I am off the mop the floors as I have been putting it off but today I will do it better  and I will scrub those nasty marks that get stuck in the old linoleum that is on the floor in this house.  That will make it look a lot better.  It isnt easy to keep it looking nice as its really old and it has had its day.

Enjoy the full moon. I hope my son Jesse is enjoying this full moon he is a Virgo child and he pays a lot of attention to detail.  You only have to look at his cars that I know of to know this.  I love you Jesse David William Baldwin.  I love that you pay attention to the fine details.  That is your journey in life.

Because I am paying attention to detail this is a little something I bothered to pay particular attention with this morning.  Atalanta is such a good friend.  A true wonderful  natured person and her children are vivacious and inquisitive and beautiful.

Sunrise adapted for Atalanta and the Girls.

Images By Mezza -  Urunga Full moon and Sunrise 

Related articles

• Full Moon in Virgo (astroartisan.com)
• VIRGO FULL MOON of 2012 (eddietwohawks.wordpress.com)
• Full Moon in Virgo - March 8th, 2012 (celestialspace.wordpress.com)

“One can begin so many things with a new person! - even begin to be a better man.” - George Eliot Middlemarch

The Perfect Life..

Many have remarked on  my situation in the last two years and say this, " Your life would be perfect if the kids would stop treating you the way they do"  Yes, emphatically  I have to agree.
My life would be perfect.  I have no ex-husband with anger, alcohol, gambling and sex addiction issues. Piece that against this situation,  a new person to share my life with that respects me and loves me and cares for me and doesn't hurt me and who isn't a drinker or a gambler.

There is not much of a choice here is there. I did make the right choice, I know this.

My new life partner is a good person.  They are now being tainted by the poison of BALDWIN.  It is a lethal poison.  My life was nearly snuffed out 17 years ago and I am glad to report that I am alright.  I am very shaken but ok and alive.  He attempted to kill me with a gun.  My landlord saved my life and the lives of my two children at the time. So, now on top of that I am now cast into the "mother wilderness".  Labelled a "Bad mother"," a mental case",  someone who cares for unimportant things, someone who does not have a proper job ( Garlic work according to this source is not real work).  In the last two days we can add thief to the list.  My son is sending me a letter of demand for something he gave me two and half years ago.  My life would be perfect if I didn't have and imperfect life before this perfect life.
Like Niki Minaj says...Excuse me your a helluva guy....

Quote from: http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/new-beginnings

2+3 = 5

Happy Birthday Jesse,

 I love you . . .

The day I found you were growing in my belly was one of the happiest days of my life.  Holding you for the first time was astonishing, remarkable, wonderful, incredible, astounding, wonderful, incredible and miraculous.

I love you

I love you  and I wish you well,  I wish for you many beautiful children and a happy fullfilling life. Thankyou for coming into this world through me.  For what its worth son, I loved it.

The day I learned of your extreme disapproval for having had to be born through me "Of all people", was  a day  that I would like to erase from the ether... that can't happen.  A person only has the moment they are living in.  I am sorry for you and for me.