Thursday, September 29, 2011

This the texture of Conjecture

” Its hard at times in a beautiful world and its beautiful at times in a hard world”. 
~Mary Peters 2011


Conjecture is a proposition that is thought to be true despite being primarily based on something inconclusive.

There is a lot of conjecture about the entity in space on its way to a planet near you.  It is difficult to get the full science on this as there is so much to wade through.
Just Sayin..
Suffice to say, I think it is already affecting our planet's electromagnetic forces that vibrate through the earth and out into the infinite universe.  I have given it much thought and have come to the conclusion this is the reason behind the bizarre mass death occurrences of various species across the planet recently.
It is a beautiful creation but sometimes its not easy and so once again we will be called into question as the planet does a big heave ho soon.   
For people who are having babies, the prospect is much different now as to what it was when I had my children over 20 years ago.  Its a frightening prospect at times.  But always there will be beauty in a hard world" and each day we arise with the gift of hope.
At the moment I hope the hell this thing completely misses us.  Any more major disasters like the ones in recent times and the earth will surely crack like a fragile egg.

Image - Graff N friend

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

“One can begin so many things with a new person! - even begin to be a better man.” - George Eliot Middlemarch

The Perfect Life..


Many have remarked on  my situation in the last two years and say this, " Your life would be perfect if the kids would stop treating you the way they do"  Yes, emphatically  I have to agree.
My life would be perfect.  I have no ex-husband with anger, alcohol, gambling and sex addiction issues. Piece that against this situation,  a new person to share my life with that respects me and loves me and cares for me and doesn't hurt me and who isn't a drinker or a gambler.

There is not much of a choice here is there. I did make the right choice, I know this.

My new life partner is a good person.  They are now being tainted by the poison of BALDWIN.  It is a lethal poison.  My life was nearly snuffed out 17 years ago and I am glad to report that I am alright.  I am very shaken but ok and alive.  He attempted to kill me with a gun.  My landlord saved my life and the lives of my two children at the time. So, now on top of that I am now cast into the "mother wilderness".  Labelled a "Bad mother"," a mental case",  someone who cares for unimportant things, someone who does not have a proper job ( Garlic work according to this source is not real work).  In the last two days we can add thief to the list.  My son is sending me a letter of demand for something he gave me two and half years ago.  My life would be perfect if I didn't have and imperfect life before this perfect life.
Like Niki Minaj says...Excuse me your a helluva guy....

Quote from: http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/new-beginnings

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Rainbows bring hope

The soul would have no Rainbow if the eyes had no tears!

 ~ John Vance Cheney


Rainbows bring hope...
This is a double rainbow, and when Brice saw it he said to me., "There look what he has given you".  Wonder who the "HE" is he was speaking of.  I know who he meant!  He meant look what the creator of the universe has given you to cheer you up.  I love that Brice understands the connection to creation now, this does make me very happy indeed.  I have lots to be unhappy about, but when Brice says this then I trust that God is close and so are the angels.

Image by Mezza - New vegetable garden up the side

Monday, September 19, 2011

2+3 = 5

Happy Birthday Jesse,

 I love you . . .

The day I found you were growing in my belly was one of the happiest days of my life.  Holding you for the first time was astonishing, remarkable, wonderful, incredible, astounding, wonderful, incredible and miraculous.

I love you


I love you  and I wish you well,  I wish for you many beautiful children and a happy fullfilling life. Thankyou for coming into this world through me.  For what its worth son, I loved it.



The day I learned of your extreme disapproval for having had to be born through me "Of all people", was  a day  that I would like to erase from the ether... that can't happen.  A person only has the moment they are living in.  I am sorry for you and for me.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Sombody I Used to Know - Kimbra

Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die

Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache 

I still remember




You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end
Always the end


Saturday, September 17, 2011

A real friend is one who walks in when everyone else walks out. - Walter Winchell

Unexpected is always great..

Montana in 2008
 Today I was more than pleased to receive a phone call from old friends and former Brisvegus / Bellingenites.  What a surprise to see how the twins have grown.  How gorgeous is Leanne, like not a day has passed!  So beautiful,  I will probably never see them again.  Not now,  they are supping with the King this evening and I don't mean Elvis.
I want to be wrong!  I know this will never end.  The king will keep issuing proclamations and not a thing will  be resolved and once again what ever the king will wish will be the way it is!  That will be the end as usual.  Nothing is ever the same after the king waves his sepulcher in the air. 

Image by Mezza - Montana eating Pavlova.

Friday, September 16, 2011

For you today Mum... have a great day!

Today's post is for a great woman, a woman above all other women.  A woman who was so strong..
Ellen Katherine Baguley 
formerly of Warwick Queensland,  resident of heaven now,  may God's hand continue to hold you.
Today I am having a day with my mum................. in spirit!  
You passed from this world now some 13 years ago.  Today I am dedicating my day to you, and what ever I do today will be done with you in my mind.  I will play my songs to you today.  Our radio show today at 4pm will be for you Mum.
Ellen Katherine Baguley
Born 17.02.1931 ( I think)  Ellen Katherine Baguley ( Peters, Frazer).. What a gorgeous strong woman you were.  You got more than your fair share to deal with,  I know.  I know how much you must have hurt now.  My heart is with your heart and I love you.

 Today mum, all the guitars are for you my love.  I love you!  If I had known that you wanted a guitar so much I would have given you mine.  I am smiling though, because now, when I play any guitar, I will play for you so you can play with me too.

 I miss you mum, so much!  If only we could see the full extent of the choices we all make in life.  You didn't and I have followed in your footsteps.  I too have made some fairly poor choices.  I acted out of emotion or the lack of it.  Now as I sit with you and cuddle you in my mind, I know how you must have felt.  Stuck and unable to change the wrongs that had occurred,  feeling like the machine was bigger than you.  Yes, I know how this feels.  I feel it, you felt it and Mary my grandmother felt it.

I sit in awe here with you at the moment and I think its time we changed this.  What you reckon?  Its time that this stuff stopped following the woman of this family.. No more, and so together we will pray.  In the name of the God we both know is true and real ... I ask Lord, that this curse be broken in the name of Jesus Christ . . .Amen.. ... ... There.. that is so much better now!

 I have been stuck in the past mum,  I was waiting for you!  It sounds silly hey, I know.  But in a weird way this is what has happened, our lives were parted so soon and yet we bonded like no two other woman on this earth in that four short months that we had together!  I forgive you for making a bad choice,  I don't think you were bad.  I think I have been in your shoes myself.  I think I understand.


Ellen Baguley aged 15 years
Its not pretty is it?  Not when it comes on top of a life time of heart ache shame guilt and all that other stuff all of us woman have felt...... Well, making decisions and choices are not easy to do!  Always feeling damned if you did and damned if you didn't.  The eternal quandary we all as woman from this family have faced.

Ellen on the farm at Pratten  1977


But for today and for the future this is broken now and we will seize the day ... Carpe diem..  and we will now go on now a bit better shape in which ever dimension we are in. 


We will be as strong woman should be.  We who have endured and who have been to the edge of the fires of hell,  and survived it. When the heat got too hot maybe we should have got out of the kitchen, just saying...

 Mummy I love you so so much and I love your beautiful voice.  I  can hear you in my mind. 


I lay in bed and picture your heavenly body to be as gossamer as the stardust and your radiant beauty is shining down for all to see

You have an awesome day Mum ... what ever you do in heaven,  hanging out with angels must be fun.  I have had a few here lately, I suspect that you sent them, every one.  You and the boss.  He understands all that has gone before us and what will be ahead of us.
Images - Ellen Katherine Baguley ( Peters; Fraser)


 This song is for you mum, I was inspired by my friend Mandie.  It is her wedding song and today is their anniversary,  when I listened to the song the second time, I knew you would like this one too.  I love you mum.  xoxooxox

Thursday, September 15, 2011

If a child lives in criticism They learn to condemn

Guiltee Giltee Guilty!
Large and small strawberry blossoms

My own children had a partially difficult time as I negotiated life with their father.  But, my children were never subject to the abuse that my mother and myself endured.  Sick horrible abuse.  Abuse from people who others respected in the community.  Back in those days no one knew or if they did well I guess they didn't care.
As a parent, I asked for help along the way.  I was always honest.  I spoke up when I wasn't coping,  there wasn't any help though. Not from any government departments or child workers.  None.  I even rang the department myself.  I told them the situation, they were not interested.  I hadn't hurt my kids so what is the problem.  The problem was I had no idea.  It is humorous to me now that I rang DocS   (recently renamed FACS)  It is funny to me because it is akin to ringing your own mother,  the government was my parent, I had been a ward of the state until 18.  Who else was I going to call.  Ghost busters.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

A Space Rock Perhaps

What we saw at dawn today.  I have to admit I was moved by what I saw in the dawn sky as the sun was about to tip over the edge at dawn.


Some say its an asteroid, others say it is the planet Elenin or Nirbiru.  A brown planet.  Either way its out there and we saw it!
Image by Mezza - Hungry Head Headland view of  Celestial something?

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

One's best success comes after their greatest disappointments.~ Martin Luther King Jnr


Ticket Release Exhaustion 



I feel a sense of absolute disappointment.  It is a hard place to be when you have looked so forward for so long and even wrote letter's to our government in Marshall B Mathers defense.  I wanted to get him here.

I failed..  I did not get a ticket for Montana or for myself.


 Maybe we should hope for Melbourne to get a second show!

Image by Mezza - Cold hard feeling of disappointment just like dawn in a main street.

Monday, September 12, 2011

The Smoke was incense

The smoke was offered back as incense to the supreme creator of this universe.  

Giving back the lesson from whence it came is a powerful experience.  In the beginning, there was a passion that was a hot as this fire.  

This passion was behind my creation.  



Experience
  •  The apprehension of an object, thought, or emotion through the senses or mind.
  •  Active participation in events or activities, leading to the accumulation of knowledge or skill.
  •  An event or a series of events participated in or lived through.
  •  The totality of such events in the past of an individual or group.
Burning the experience and giving it back to the source is an effective tool in freeing the spirit of the instance that it wasn't accepted at the time.  This is a gift!

Sunday, September 11, 2011

"Angels Play a Dope Game" - A tribute Sept 11 commemorations...

"Angels Play a Dope Game"
~ by Mary Peters

"What the hell is happening man"
I was suddenly full of fear N dread
And then...
I heard the angels in heaven
Crying,
Screaming,
Running
They were there for them
Everyone of them
I could hear their songs...
calling them
And I was watching the angels
They were catching them
All of them
No one hit the bottom
It just looked that way to us
The angels did a massive job
And believe me it's a plus,
They had it covered
that day - The day
the one that changed the way..... all of us play.
"Oh my God,
Is it really gonna be over?
Are we all heading for that biblical clover"?

For the full poem head to this site:
http://melonpops.wordpress.com/2011/09/10/angels-play-a-dope-game-tribute-911/
Image and Poem by Mezza

Saturday, September 10, 2011

“For a moment, nothing happened.

 “For a moment, nothing happened.

Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen

 Douglas Adams (British comic Writer, 1952-2001)

The Early Garden and the Vegetables in late 2010.  When we came to this magical spot the soil for any sort of gardening was sadly missing .. we kept finding little tiny coloured rocks everywhere from past discarded fish tanks and that was about the only thing colorful.  We first had to fix the shed floor and the rubble and dirt made the basis of the first garden.  It was there for one season and we moved the entire garden down closer to the house.


VEGETABLES 2010
Not sure but it does seem at times here that you can see things growing.  We just love the garden and we love growing some of the things we eat on a regular basis.
Image by Mezza - Garden in Morgo August  2010

Friday, September 9, 2011

A BIG BIG ROCK

 "My own view is that this is the last chance that human beings will have to truly align themselves with the cosmic plan. It is now or never and if you do not think that the Conscious Convergence has something to do with you, your not understanding it"
 quote by Carl Johan Calleman Ph.D. in Physical Biology 
University of Stockholm

I predict we will have a major earthquake in the region of the pacific into the USA and it could have dire consequences for Australia as well.   I think this will happen on the 19th of September 2011.  It is my son's birthday that day.  Big event to have to remember it.  I hope I am wrong but the birds fell out of the sky and the fish beached themselves and now we have Sammy the seal sleeping under the bridge here in Urunga!  He is a long way from home too.

Full Moon over the ocean looking over the foot bridge
 Amateur Russian Astronomer Leonid Elenin - discoverer of Comet Elenin


Some of these claims, specifically about Elenin and the March 11th M9 earthquake in Japan, seem to have some basis in fact, as we've explored. Electromagnetic effects from planetary alignments, resulting in seismic activity, is a definite possibility given what we've pieced together.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Dreams do come true

“Don’t let anyone steal your dream. It’s your dream, not theirs.” ~Dan Zadra
When you dream I think you are in touch with creation at its core.  You no longer have control, the God part takes over.

Surreal stick dwellings at the Heads symbolic of a dream state

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

The universe does not lead us up the garden path without rhyme or reason.

~ Mary Peters ~

Toast Urunga
On Sunday it was very busy on Morgo... with TOAST URUNGA.  It really is a little festival that I don't althogether understand the reason for.  It seemed to be a lot of food , wine and music.

Image by Mezza - A butterfly emerges ... Toast Urunga 2011

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

On the Garden grows

This garden is amazing, it has given us both so much  pleasure as we watch new life happen.  Life that truly nourishes the body, mind and spirit emerges from the earth.


I tend to get emotional at times during this process.  Not because I am strange.  I feel the vibrations of the plants.  Sometimes they tell me they want to move or they want to be somewhere else to thrive. I feel them say hello to me in the morning and each day I purpose to go and say hello first thing.

This process of wanting to move or be moved imitates our human existence or does our human existence imitate this process of nature?... Either way they are connected and I feel blessed that I feel what I do.  A sky full of lighters up to the true nature of everything.

It does not matter what others think of this, the message is for me and I received it.

In the end this is all that is matters concerning this

Image by Mezza - Down the side early Aug 2011

Monday, September 5, 2011

Sappho

Today I am in love with Sappho..
"If you forget me,

think of our gifts to Aphrodite

and all the loveliness that we shared

all the violet tiaras,

braided rosebuds, dill and

crocus twined around your young neck

 

Sappho (săf'ō), fl. early 6th cent. B.C., Sappho circa 630 B.C. She was the greatest of the early Greek lyric poets.  (Plato calls her “the tenth Muse”), b. Mytilene on Lesbos.  

She was an aristocrat, who wrote poetry for her circle of friends, mostly but not exclusively women. 

Image by Mezza - Honeysuckle in bloom

Sunday, September 4, 2011

2455 REPRESENT

 And so we are trying to rein things in here by transferring my other gardening posts from my poetry and writing blog Melonpopzdropz.. 

You already know that I have dedicated this page to blogging about my yard!  I spend so much time there that really it deserves a page all of its own!  Special place my backyard and my garden.
 I could be accused of being biased, however I don't care.  I think that we live on the most awesome piece of the Australian coastline!  The Mid North Coast of NSW.. The Pacific Ocean greets me each morning as I look out my back door and look at her!  She is a terrifying and powerful force.

Hearts hearts and still more hearts
Hearts
 They figure big around here, look closely for more hearts in unusual places.

Bromiliad flower
My  flower of a  Billbergia sp.
So this just happens to be the best photograph of any flower I have ever taken! I am so glad to share it here with you.  What do you think?

Images by Mezza - Plants and special things

Saturday, September 3, 2011

“We are limited, not by our abilities, but by our vision.”

Jonathan Swift quotes (Irish Author and Satirist of prose, 1667-1745)

The edge of Australia ...

OUR OUTBACK

So this is what we see when we wake up and look out the back door!  Most certainly worth photographing wouldn't you say?  Low tide is pictured here but this changes.   Fisherman regularly fish here for many and varied species!  I have caught many fish here myself and really I need to go again soon. It is just a wonderful place to be.


The KALANG and the BELLINGER River's head out east here to PACIFICA through what is called Bellinger Heads.  These days there is a purpose build walkway that is adjacent to the mouth of the river out to the beach.  This makes for a much easier passage by foot to the ocean.  
Image by Mezza - Dawn over the rivers August 2011

Friday, September 2, 2011

Necessary Knowledge

I am Strong, because I have been weak,
I am Beautiful because I know my flaws,
I'm a Good lover because I'm a great fighter, 
I am totally fearless because I've been very afraid 
I am WISE because I have been very foolish...
And I can laugh because I have known true sadness...

Today is the second day of spring.

The Photograph - was taken in the late afternoon with a storm pending, these beautiful purple flowers appeared amongst the Lantana on the cliff behind my house.  Each day new blossoms bloom out there and so I am sure there will be many more photographic opportunities out there.

Didn't we have some massive spring rain last evening!  With that came a washing of the mess we had made in the garden the last couple of days.  We moved the compost and the making of the new garden alongside the fence.  Feeding of all the worm farms came in perfect time for all of this.

The new rocket is up already and the beans I planted the other day have sprouted through to keep the other beans company. They are already performing early and a little out of season.   Now the season is approaching where I will reap so much for our efforts.  I plan to blanch and freeze in recycled margarine containers the excess so as to insure a steady supply of food for the next few months.  
The Garden on right hand side behind the shed is now sporting a potato mound in front of the banana trees and they seem to being doing well.  It is my plan to get this mound to approximately 3 feet in height. I will do this with a series of sticks standing up and newspaper wadding as my sides similar to the "potatoes in tyres" idea and my newspaper will break down and this should theoretically have potatoes all the way through this mound once the flowers have died down the track.  We shall see how successful this is.  Today we will transplant some seedlings to a much needed new home and the weekend is approaching.  The garden loves the weekend.
Image by Mezza

Thursday, September 1, 2011

I seriously think we are SPRUNG!

Scared and sacred are spelled with the same letters. Awful proceeds from the same root word as awesome. Terrify and terrific. Every negative experience holds the seed of transformation...... Alan Cohen
  
Spring...
Aussies can mark the first day of spring today by tiptoeing through the tulips, as the island shakes off the winter chill and bursts into life with flower blooms in brilliant colour.

Pretty purple blossoms on the hill

Although we have had warm hints of spring in the past couple of weeks, today is officially the first day of the season.
Some argue that spring doesn't actually begin until the equinox, on September 23, but Bureau of Meteorology and climatology say this is the farewell of winter for 2011.

This Spring, marks the first entire season that I am no longer considered a mother,  spring is a time traditionally when birth occurs and new life!  I had given birth myself  to my son in Spring.  It was the lovliest time.  I time that I will never ever forget.   Now,  I am in my own personal winter  no matter what the season outside is saying to others. 

I will look at the flowers and try to find the true beauty there and not look at the false humanity that is ever so close to me.  I will pray for a swift end to my winter.

Image by Mezza - Spring flowers in bloom on the hill in Morgo street.

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Mezza Specs.

My photo
I was in the war zone of life. Photography helps me see the beauty again and from every perspective possible. Writing helps me get whats inside outside. I am aware I am awake and I know I must not get so low that I can't see the beauty in the bricks life throws at me. I used to meditate with the sun each dawn as often as possible for my health. Those days are over now as I have taken the sun and its energy into me and its time to give it back out now to others in healing and Love, when and where and however I can. I seek a freedom from the pain of life. I work hard to stay on top of this daily and taking images of nature is one of the best ways to stay so in touch with the intricacies of what life can manifest if you let it happen.