A.D. Williams . .
Being alone can do many things inside a persons head or in their psyche.
Being Alone with out being Lonely
by Ben Martin Psy.D
There is a great difference between being lonely and being alone. Many
people are alone and lead happy lives. It may behoove us to study some
of their traits, because many of us are likely to be alone at some point
in our lives.
Contrary to many beliefs, the elderly are not the most lonely among
us. It is young people who are most lonely, and herein may lie some of
the differences between being lonely and being alone.
Many elderly people have developed traits or habits that help them be
comfortable with themselves alone. They have found ways to keep busy
mentally. Many rely on good memories of a deceased spouse for comfort
while relishing the peace and quiet of a household void of too much
activity. They have reached the point where their status quo is
calmness.
The young, however, are subject to a wide range of moods. They may be
up one morning and down that evening or up and down several times in a
given day. They are often bored and restless to the point of being
unhappy for no clear reason. When they are not sought after and included
in all activities of their peers, their self-esteem takes a hit.
When they are lonely, they blame themselves and resort to activities
that exclude social contact or productivity, such as watching too much
television.
Being alone can have its advantages. The creative person craves time
alone. Any professional who takes a sabbatical and spends some time
alone returns refreshed mentally and spiritually.
To reap the rewards of solitude, a person who feels lonely can tune out thoughts of self and seek out activities. They can:
- write letters
- read
- paint
- sew
- care for a pet
- enroll in a correspondence course
A person who is feeling lonely should avoid situations such as:
- drinking alcohol alone
- using other escapes such as non-prescribed medications
- watching so much television that it becomes a substitute for socializing
It may sometimes be good to be alone, but it is rarely good to be lonely.
My take on this is about the same really, I have been extremely lonely in a crowded room. I have felt the most alone in this situation. I find it really difficult to converse with a crowded room unless I am a speaker for example. Going to an event that is crowded peaks me out a lot. I am usually ok after I have been there awhile but find it almost impossible to go alone. It really depends on the level of tenacity I have on any given day.
Images @ Melonpopzdropz Flickr.
