God makes no mistakes and God makes No Junk!

When your feeling a little down, try to remember that on this planet everything is here for a reason.  There has not been one thing on this planet that is here for no reason.  Everything from the tiniest to the most giant has a purpose...

The Full Moon resting gently on my back gate post at Urunga 2012

 This is what I try to remember when I become overwhelmed by the sheer immenseness  and imminence of God and creation of the universe.  I am here for a reason.  What ever I am feeling is for a reason. Nothing is with out purpose on this earth.  We cannot see the purpose as it is unfolding and we usually don't get to see it till way way after an event has occurred.  We get to see later how God had his hand on the situation all the way.

I was almost 30 years old when I had my first child.  A Son, Jesse we named him.  Jesse David William Baldwin.  Me being who I am, I was someone who was always going to be challenged rearing children no matter which way things went or with who ever I was partnered too.  I sometimes wish that I didn't have to suffer the relationship stuff that I had to while serving under the commission of God and Motherhood. 

I had to remember continually that God makes no mistakes and this was meant to be this way.

I know  that I was a good mum and I know that I was in the care of God while doing this because so many times when I look back now and see how wonderful and perfect that it panned out the way it did.

All this has done has prepared me for the greatest fight of my entire life.  I am at this point still waiting for it.  I have been through the fiery furnace and I am waiting because you don't receive training at this level and not get to put it into action.

I love my children.  I loved my son so  much.  I am still mortified that he has done what he has done to me and he really thinks that I, as his MOTHER and a human being deserve this kind of treatment!  I am so so saddened that no one cares about me enough to help me with this.

• Paul Rogers is a liar.  
• Paul Rogers made a complete idiot of himself.  
• Paul Rogers went to John and asked John about me. ( You don't ask ex's anything)
• Paul Rogers never ... Repeat NEVER.. asked me about me at all. 
• Paul Rogers is with out guts and fortitude.
• Paul Rogers is responsible for the complete relationship breakdown between my son and myself.
• Paul Rogers stuck his nose in to where it wasn't required.
• Paul Rogers caused a lot of problems.
• Paul Rogers swore he would pay me back for telling his mother he downloaded Porn onto my computer, he hated me for that.  (I didn't want  porn on my computer).
• For this,  he will be served a plate full of KARMA.

See to it that it is a large plate with big high sides so that nothing falls off this plate.    As God is my witness,  I have told the truth and I have never done the things I was accused of.  I am sad that not one person stood up for me, not even my daughters. Not my friends or people who I knew.  Remind me to not step in to help others in future.  I have lost count how many people have told me they could  have said something but ...." they didn't want to upset the apple cart".  Screw the apple cart.  Since when has an apple cart been more important than a human being!

I stepped in to help my sister Kay, I thought I could help her.  I did help her but that is the other half of this story.  I am hated for being a little clever and that is about the long and the short of it.  Now their are peoples prides involved.  Their own pride is what is stopping them saying sorry!

I try really hard not to let this kill me,  the mere thought of suicide must never creep into my head / many have taken their own lives because of sadness that isn't any where near as horrific as this story is.  I,  at times hate this world.  I don't hate the planet.  I love the planet.  I hate the consciousnesses that walk around seemingly unabated by stuff and seemingly getting away with it all until Karma steps in.  Thank you Karma you are my friend.

Karma, Your the invisible measuring stick that the universe uses to sort out stuff.  It is good that I get this time alone with Brice to cement our relationship.  Our relationship has developed into the most special of groupings of people.  He and I are very very different.  I am so happy to be able to tell another human being about all the things I have learned and to have someone love me unconditionally in return.  It is a gift from God himself I'm sure.  Something to help me see that I am special even when I might feel for a second or forget for a minute that I am.  I am special,  I was born for such a time as this.

Image By Mezza - Full Moon in Urunga.  March 2012