I gave up for a long long time. I even tried substances to take me to that place of where ever I felt I needed to be. The substances worked for a tiny while. I became bored with that and at a young age. There was one other time I felt myself rise to that level. This was when I gave birth to my son, my first child. I was in that same state for some six hours post the birth of this child. I felt the energy rise up my spine like someone was shooting a fire hose of warm water up the length of my back and into my head and then spilling all over me. I felt like I could run up Mt Everest I was so enlivened by this energy inside of my body. This was the Kundalini. which is most certainly present during the birth process. I would love to know more about this now also.
My life has now been long and off and on through out my life I have participated in other various meditations but it was always a similar outcome. My bones would get itchy and restless. I wanted to flex and fight this feeling. Its a funny sensation to feel this in your body.
I wanted to still my mind. I wanted the healing that comes with this stilling. I didn't give up! So I think this is half the key. Don't ever give up completely. Walk away and take a break but don't give up. I finally found a way
I understand the concept of seeing yourself in your own minds eye. This is where I started and I only did this for very short periods. But I found this even a challenge. To really close my eyes and visualize myself looking at myself. Finally.... success. Finally, I was able to do this. I commenced this after sun gazing each day and found that I could communicate with the animals while in this state of consciousness. Not talk like we talk. It was a mind thing where I was impressing on their brain my thoughts. Interesting as sometimes this worked well, especially with the dog and her behavior. If winter was not here, and the dog tucked in her bed, we may be a little further along with that. She doesn't want to get out in the cold though but summer is coming, so there will be time again to do this with her in the future.
I felt great changes occur inside of me almost the same week I commenced this. Like my brain was opening up and sucking in stuff like a vacuum cleaner like manner. The answers to an array of questions I have carried around for years came in the space of a week. My body was buzzing.
I really felt like I was being switched on. Then, out of the blue I was overwhelmed with the urge to go paint. I scoured the cupboards for old paints I used with the kids, I found them and they were all dried up. Good, I thought, more rubbish to loose. Next morning I went down to the shops and bought a cheap set of Oil Paints and started to paint. I painted for 48 hours with a 6 hour break non stop. I was compelled to paint these blessed things. They were my tin can lids I had lovingly prepared for some decoration but nothing on the scale of what I actually painted. These are earmarked for my Canowind Chimes inventions.
Brice fed me cuppas and I stayed fairly silent. Stopping for light conversation only with my partner during this time. He was fascinated also. He knows I am not a painter of art. I love art but I have not really ever considered myself capable of painting very much at all. I was more of a house painter.
Some of the questions answered were regarding the civilization I heard of in the Pacific that is now mostly on the bottom of the ocean. These were things I was questioning. The Easter Island statues, Coconut water, Mangoes. A wonderful woman named Beverley pointed me in the right direction. People were there when I needed them in perfect timing. I had now read the Ancient books of Mu by James Churchward.
There was so much information and many beautiful diagrams of what he wrote about what he had seen and had interpreted by the Rishi Priest. Then it started, my mind was all but saying to me, "Come on lets paint". Like a David Bowie song lyric, Lets Dance. It was echoing in my head to do this. AMAZING. The results even amazed me. 24 beautiful discs all decorated in the most intricate and ancient designs and each one echoing the glyphs from the cuneiform tablets found in temples that told the stories of Lemuria.
I felt myself falling into the well of ancient love. I could feel this was really healthful. It was peaceful as I sat and brushed so delicately and precisely the lines and the dots. The beginning was highlighted with much dot work like I had recently witnessed at Uluru in Central Australia. The dots seem to morph onto straight and precise patterns and lines with feeling.
|The artists impressions in meditation|
What I can report of myself after this occurred is a much greater sense of awareness and a feeling of warmth emanating from me. I stood barefoot on the cool winter ground bare foot and my feet were not cold. It is Winter and I was fine, and that is unusual as I am the one who clings to any warmth, commonly known as the heat leech. I fully feel the change is now in full swing. The meditation, the suns beams, my pineal gland is like swelling in my head sometimes. This could be the reason for the strange headaches too.
Exerpts from Osho
One day, suddenly, you will find a window opens, and a fresh breeze with new rays has filled your heart. Again, don’t commit the same mistake! Be thankful for what is happening, but don’t ask for more — and more will be coming. Don’t ask, “Come again” — your asking will become the barrier.
It will come again, it will come more often. Slowly, slowly it becomes your heartbeat; waking, sleeping, it is always there, it never goes. But it is not your doing. You cannot brag that “I have done it.” You can only say, “I have allowed the unknown to do it to me.” It is always from the unknown that great experiences enter into our small hearts, and when we are trying hard to get them, we become so tense that the very tension prevents them.I have allowed the unknown to do this to me. Yes and I knew it was all absolutely fine. It was as though I was feeling the plasma falling around me and soaking in the crevices of my body. That is how warm it was and what I was feeling. I shall not push. I will wait.
For the record .. You must say this out loud to believe it and say it with an Indian Accent so it means something.
" Religion is a bondage. It keeps you unaware of your unawareness."
Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh
Osho Image - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Osho.jpg
Image by Mezza - Brice's Lizard Magnet and Montana's 'Warning Sign' Don't cook.