I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. ..Bill Cosby

 If you're the one who is always last to leave the job or the work place, you could be a people pleaser.  If your children treat you poorly and carry on about how they are entitled to this and that and you allow this to happen, this is clear people pleasing.  Did you walk away from your marriage and still don't understand what the heck happened, yes you may well be one of these "People Pleaser's".

The people pleaser's of the world struggle with a life of trying to get approval from others. Sometimes this group of people attempt to meet this need by doing  and going over the top.  They cannot seem to say no to people!  Even when they should say no they find themselves accepting another engagement or job or project or volunteering on another committee.  These personality types often suffer emotionally with co-dependent issues concurrently.  The People Pleaser personality has a real fear of failure.  They will kill themselves trying to hide the fact that they have any imperfections.
Where does this start?  My guess is this sort of behaviour is instigated in childhood.

 

 I usually find the issue was a form of abuse in the past history of the "Pleaser".  This person learned as a child to do what had to be done to keep the peace.  Enabling the abuser to carry on abusing.  This is then carried on into the adult life of the person because it is so firmly entrenched into the persons being.  They become one and the same and even the "Pleaser" sees their behaviours as likeable.  They have a strong tendency to get mixed up about being loved and about being needed, often making poor choices because of this.

Build strong relationships with your children, don't be afraid to confront the ones who have hurt you or treated you poorly.  This is one of the hardest ones. Confrontation.  People pleaser's hate confrontation. Break the cycle if this has been what has happened in your family.

Images by Mezza - The Beach at Hungry Head and Dawn in Urunga